I use partner or spouse for other people, and SO for my partner.
That started years ago when I used to use the term husband and wife. Then I mentioned someone’s wife and got corrected that it was their husband. NOW who’s the idiot? Me. Lesson learned.
My wife and I are the most stereotypical leave it to beaver couple ever, but I use the term SO online because it fits in with a broader community where not everyone looks like us.
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That being said, IRL I still use wife in person around here. Saying spouse or partner would really stick out. Even with those terms, people seem to have no problem using wife or husband when they’re in a same sex relationship. I just had a prof (with a clearly masculine name) post that they couldn’t type, but their husband would be typing in their responses to any questions. Doesn’t seem to be a big deal anymore to say husband in passing like that. Or at least it might get noticed the first time it was mentioned (as in, oh, i guess they’re gay), then ignored thereafter.
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Oh, I also refer to my SO publicly as ‘my first wife’.
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I usually use husband/wife/spouse for people who are married. But my brother has been with the same woman for longer than either of them was married to the people they made babies with, and I refer to his (female) partner as his partner. Deciding to do that has greatly simplified my language when I talk about them.
I’m thinking of just switching to “partner” overall.
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15 month follow up visit at the clinic this morning — and I’m going to be adding progesterone to the cocktail soon! It’s often added around 1 - 1.5 years into the process, and I’m hoping it will help enough with the fat redistribution and breast growth that I won’t feel the need for breast augmentation surgery. Starting this lets me delay that decision for another 12-18 months.
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Today was the last of my scheduled voice lessons. It was basically a review of everything we’ve done, and a summary of my approach for the next few months as I try to make my new voice the habit. I’ll probably check in with her in February or so to make sure I’m not developing bad habits or anything, but the weekly sessions are done.
As part of the review, she played back a recording we made on day 1. I started voice lessons because my recorded voice would almost always leave me in tears, and would often lead to a dysphoric spiral lasting for hours or days.
My old voice doesn’t have that power anymore — it’s someone else’s voice. It was so amazing to hear it, and realize it’s not me anymore. That voice had an average of 115-120 Hz, and the intonation was flat and boring, with like 80-85% of the reading falling between 110-130 Hz.
I did the same reading at the end of last week and she showed me the analysis today. My average pitch was 150-155 Hz, and the range was more like 125-210 Hz, with me getting as high as 250 Hz on certain syllables. I’m so much more expressive, so much more … me.
It’s an amazing feeling to finally begin to feel like you are actually being heard — not some other voice that isn’t you, but my actual voice being heard. I can’t believe the change. It’s coincided with me getting gendered correctly by strangers way more often (like from 50/50 to 90/10 in the last month or so), and it’s such a nice confidence boost.
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So … the attendee list for the effective opinion seminar is available, and the ringleader of the anti-diversity website that embarrasses the profession by existing is going. Hopefully, I’m lucky and he’s on the remote side of things.
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Some people seem to want to push out their anger and hate to the world.
That’s on them, not you.
Doesn’t make it any easier to sit in the same room for 20 hours with someone that you know despises your existence.
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He probably despises his own existence ten times more.
I think people who are overtly hateful to LGBTQ+ folks are by and large people who struggle to come to terms with their own similar issues. And so if they can’t exist comfortably, then neither should you.
Rest in the comfort of all those around you, in person and virtually, who love and accept you just as you are. He has no power over you. 
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Yes, well eff them. Yeah, that doesn’t make it any easier either. But still, eff them.
The tides are changing, More and more people are treating behavior like that as inappropriate. We’re not all the way there yet, but we’ll live to see it yet.
Until then, keep pushing into the wind. The more people that know you, the more those people will move the dial in their personal life.
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yeah, well, how do you think they feel? lol.
Sometimes. But these people hate Blacks as much as they hate LGBTQ. Reading their website, i think it’s a bunch of old white men who are frightened of losing their privilege. Damn it, they have earned that privilege, the world was set up to favor them because they are better, and examining those assumptions is tantamount to attacking them.
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Website??
Thankfully, most of it has become members-only. It used to be open to all.
Hmm ok. I can’t read anything other than their intro. But that was enough to make me grateful. Eeeww
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Thankfully, I reached out to a member of COPLFR and he is remote.
Oh, some of the initial posts were way way worse. I forget the exact wording, but according to them I’m mentally ill and unfit to be an actuary or something like that.
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Actuaries can be real assholes. I’m here to tell ya! I’m sorry. What an embarrassment to the profession. 
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