They likely can’t drop her until open enrollment. If they work in white collar jobs that probably means she’ll have coverage through 12/31 at least, but since her mom has a university job they may be tied to the academic year which probably cuts off around August 31 or thereabouts.
If she’s in college she may be able to get on a student plan pretty inexpensively.
But being mad at your kid is not a qualifying life event to change coverage mid-enrollment period.
That’s a wonderful point I didn’t think about. Thanks a million. We’ll still make sure she maxes up in that fashion in case new insurance gives us any trouble. All presuming she’s cut off. I’m hoping their talk is productive enough that they can accept a “family separation”.
It would be exceptionally vindictive to cut her off from medical given that they are covering Kid Sister. It probably costs exactly $0 to keep Goddaughter on insurance if they’re insuring Kid Sister anyway.
The car and the phone… there’s actual real money involved, so those are in a slightly different category. Still vindictive but slightly less irrationally so.
Note that I am not saying the medical thing won’t happen. You are smart to be thinking through these things.
Glad to help. You can probably move worrying about prescriptions lower on the priority list at least.
One other possibility is that the mother might track you down?
It doesn’t sound like she is the ignoring type (given her fundie background)
Might be sensible to have a plan in place just in case she goes off the reservation and shows up at your door.
Get a Ring doorbell so you’ll know if she’s around.
I know she could track us down if she’s willing to do enough Googling. We haven’t attempted to scrub our existence and it’s pretty much impossible to hide when you’ve been openly living at one address for years. I will not give her the option to track where goddaughter is 24/7 or to track her calls and texts. We’ll buy her a cheap new phone before that.
I don’t anticipate something like parents showing up armed to get her back. The mother is a narcissistic bitch but is a spineless coward, and the father is even more spineless. Mother only has power over daughter because she holds the pursestrings and has a lifetime of being mother. She has no idea how to handle me, and to date I have been pleasant to her. Being mean would just mean dropping the filters. I’d laugh to see either parent handling a firearm or a weapon, and I’ll just call them for trespass if they show up.
We have a video doorbell.
If she shows up, I’ll tell her through the doorbell, “I will let your daughter know that you stopped at our home. We are not taking visitors right now, thank you.” It’ll depend on daughter what she wants to tell parents, and that all depends on their talk tonight.
I have a lighter version of this. Son’s gf lived with us for the last year because her home situation is unlivable. When my son split with her, she had to go back home. Until then, we had a pretty good father daughter relationship. When she left, I got a hug and she told me she loved me. .
Within days of moving home, she’s at her exes place. I feel like she’s in a position where she’ll do anything not to live at home, and has very limited and very poor options. I dunno, but I suspect she’s not at the exes because she’s been pining for him over my son. More.likely it’s the only other place she can go.
Not at all what I want for her but clearly there’s nothing I can do to mitigate her situation.
I’ve been on the opposite end as the person dating the unlucky-situation person. Not with them living with my parents but just about, while actually sleeping at home.
It made it so much harder to break up with them knowing they were also losing a source of stability they didn’t otherwise have. Thankfully we’ve kept in contact and they are doing better with fond recollection of me.
There are no words…
The worst thing is, it feels like we’re overblowing this, but given that they’ve forbidden even discussing the older 2 of their 4 children… I mean, they cut out the one for converting to a non-Christian religion. As Jesus said, if one of my sheep should stray from the path, fuck them, they made their choices and get no help.
One of their most recent scream-at-daughter events was because she got a haircut without mom’s permission. About 4 inches off of her mid-back-length hair and light blonde highlights on dark blonde hair, was all.
Sounds radical, even for a 20 year old [/red font]
(Flipping through Bible…) Not finding this.
What you are describing is a dysfunctional household with emotional, verbal, and likely physical abuse.
Religion + disordered personality (given its a woman its very likely Narcissistic & Boderline Personality Disorder) = dysfunctional outcomes for the kids.
There is not a lot you can do here other than provide a stable “ear” to listen to them and household for the girls in question.
I think you are doing as much as you can at this point.
Mainstream Christianity would probably hold there exist but very limited reasons to cut an adult child out of your life. You don’t give any indication of extenuating circumstances that might meet such a radical step. However given the description of the mother, she may have unintentionally done the best thing for them she is capable of.
I would suggest considering having her “learn grocery shopping” by having her be responsible for a few meals each week that she has to prep a grocery list and then do the shopping. You might give her a “target budget” as well.
Not that she has to do it all on her own, but that she’s the one doing it with suggestions/help (as needed) for doing it.
I’ve seen far too many “young adults” who are totally clueless about this and assume the “take out/delivery” is a feasible long-term solution.
You bring up a good point.
It’s all so uncertain right now, my main focus is getting her through the talk with her parents which hopefully isn’t a relationship-destroying fight.
But we should land on some amount of chores and shopping out of the pay of whatever job she ends up with.
She’s probably going to be responsible for cat litter because the boxes are very nearby her room. I always thoroughly clean them before company stays over, but ongoing maintenance can be to her discretion at having to smell it. (I presume she’ll do it before it’s horrid. This is all cart before horse.)
I think it would be for the best, until one of the parties realizes the error of their ways.
Fun fact: “Family” is another word for “control” with some people. Like “religion” or “company loyalty.”
Have you bought the new $59.99 Trump version? If no that might be your problem.
Oooh, does she know you have cats? That may be a dealbreaker…
Seriously, good luck with the situation. The best I can do is say I have no advice.