I never got bribed in this manner - my regret is that I tried hard before high school. I should have just taken it easy since those grades don’t mean anything on a college transcript. Then again, at least I turned down an offer by Johns Hopkins to join their nerd farm so at least I did something right.
Yeah but you really do need decent grades starting in sixth grade (at least here) so you can qualify for pre-algebra in 7th, algebra in 8th, to be able to take five math courses in high school to clear calculus, to take legit physics, to take the calc or physics AP exam, to get into a decent math or stem program, etc.
I always knew that from very early on, and It motivated me to do my best in school.
I don’t plan on pushing my kids to get specific grades, but I will push them to try their best. And, they don’t get real grades until 6th grade anyway.
Many people just can’t accept the fact their kids are average at academics.
This goes for a huge number of Asian parents.
Seen many Tiger Moms running around. The kids usually look stressed and unhappy.
Look, I did well in grades from 6th grade through grad school, and I’m pretty comfy. [Also, I didn’t play Werewolf, Mafia, etc.]
But I’m not a CEO nor anybody reporting directly to a CEO.
My comments had to do w/ the types of folks who have made CEO, or C-suite level. Those people weren’t dorks like us.
1 Like
I know a few CEOs in one branch of the family.
The only difference being that they started way further up the corporate food chain than anybody else.
i.e Dad (CEO) puts them in charge of a Dept in the company in their 20s. They then progress rapidly from there.
You obviously cannot replicate this.
CEO based on merit (of a large company) is I would say extremely rare.
I don’t know how I missed this before.
I think in early years, grades sort of measure effort. I am big on “I expect your best.” And didn’t care too much about grades. I knew early on that my kids were both way more creative/artistic than me and so they would never care about their math grades the way I did and there’s no way in hell I could do some of the incredible work they did and continue to do.
Once my kids found the path they wanted to pursue, I never had to try to motivate them. Their grades and accomplishments followed. 
I stay on them regarding personal finances (“because you can’t live here!”) but even that isn’t necessary anymore. They are 21 and 22 and have their shit together (as well as young adults can be expected to.)
1 Like
I cared about grades until 7th grade when my social studies teacher gave me a 0 on an assignment they lost. They never even told me about it, and I was shocked when I got my first B ever on a report card. I never cared about grades since, and still don’t care about performance reviews at work. I don’t know why that moment changed me so much lol
1 Like
I home school my kids. Everyone gets A’s.
2 Likes
It’s pointless to use grades as a motivator or lesson to try to get kids to try harder at something. If you want them to try hard they should be doing things that actually matter. So I don’t really buy that argument, since there’s a million things besides taking tests and doing homeworks that can develop a kid as a person. If you need grades to motivate a kid to do something than that thing is probably not in itself worth doing.
1 Like
I know right? It’s like hey you meet expectations here’s 3%. Matters none when the next job is like hey here’s new job and 20%. And the next job is not looking at your performance reviews.
For someone without kids you seem to have a lot of thought experiments that involve having kids… 
My parents used money for grades as a motivator.
But not for me. When they realized I’d get As whether they paid me or not, they focused on my middle sister. I think my youngest sister also did not get paid, for the same reason I didn’t get paid.
It’s an injustice!
Grades are an indicator of whether a child is leaning what they need to learn. They are not perfect, but not useless. And when it’s your kid, you probably know how to interpret the grades.
In particular, math is so cumulative that not learning it well even in grade school can potentially keep you from ever becoming good at it. Especially if a child comes to see themselves as “not good at math.”
Also bad grades can lead to being put in less advanced classes, which can make school even more boring, leading to more disengagement, and even worse grades.
High school grades are also important because they can open up additional choices to kids when they graduate.
I agree that grades have no intrinsic value.
1 Like
We talked to our kids a lot about doing their best. If they got a B or C after studying that was different than having a B because they had several 0’s. I had one kid who stressed out over grades so much that I told her she didn’t need to get all A’s. I just wanted her to be a kid sometimes. Then I had another kid who didn’t know why a high school diploma was important. She wanted to quit school, get her GED, and move on. I didn’t even look at her final high school grades.
Time has passed. Kid 1 had so much anxiety that she has not been able to finish a 4 year degree. Kid 2 has had varied experiences since high school and is planning to start college next fall. (Her HS mates who went straight to college will be seniors.)
In retrospect, I should have had Kid 1 in therapy much sooner than her senior year of high school, and with someone who would not tell her that all high school seniors are anxious.
I think I did ok with forcing Kid 2 to finish high school and not stressing over her grades.
Both were great students when they put the effort in. Kid 2 probably had some things come easier but she also struggled more with ADD.
1 Like