Thread to document all the fun I’ll have this year.
Unless I failed my COVID test this afternoon (no, I didn’t study for it - but I have zero reason to think I’m infected), and unless I get a call saying it’s off, I’ll get scoped out on Friday. No, not that kind of “scoped out” - though I’ll be out cold, so I can’t control what any females in the OR may do. It’ll be a laproscopic surgery on my hip, taking off a bone spur causing overcupping and fixing a torn labrum I suffered last spring. If anything else needs to be fixed, they’ll do that too - but per the last MRI I had in November, everything else looks OK.
No weight bearing for 4 weeks after surgery. At least 4 weeks of PT, possibly as much as 8. Recovery is expected to be 3-6 months. Somewhere after 2-3 months, we’ll discuss surgery on the other hip which needs substantially all the same stuff and might be worse given I’ve had issues with that for a while. Hoping that after this, I’ll regain flexibility and quit having issues that radiate into my lower back, and I can get to working out and dropping weight like I’ve tried to do for several years and couldn’t because of what I thought were back issues.
If I don’t make it through, it’s been a pleasure knowing all of you and make sure to fight among yourselves over the GoA badges I have.
Funny you should mention that, my ex-work chat said my coolness factor would increase considerably if after this surgery my hip was square.
Then we could practice in real-life putting a square hip into a round socket.
Or, I could get both hips done so they’re square and when Skynet becomes self-aware my really stiff gait would help me blend in and increase my chances of survival.
My mom got a total hip replacement in the early '80s. One of the first people to get it as it was still in experimental testing–so it didn’t cost my parents any $$ (this was done at University Hospital in Denver, CO).
She’s since had that hip “replaced” with newer material about 10 years ago.
I failed the COVID test, but in a positive way. Now a career 1-for-2 on those. Hoping to get a call today on times and details on Friday. My luck, we’ll have to be there at something like 6am so it’ll be up at 4:30am to get prepped and make the drive there.
Trying to figure out how I’ll do certain things, like go to the bathroom, when I can’t bend to 90 degrees. Probably lots of questions for the nurse when they call.
When my wife had her knee replacement, we went to a hospital sponsored symposium that covered knees, hips and shoulders. They discussed the “equipment” needed for hipsters. You need to make sure you get a extension for your toilet seat that allows you to not bend past 90 degrees. There were some other items as well, but that was a few years ago. The only one that stood out was the adjustment to the toilet. Maybe a wedge that would go in a chair as well.
I figure I will be either standing or lying in bed for a bit. Could end up in a recliner semi-soon, but I’ll have to play that by ear. We have a raised seat that adds 5" and then we had replaced toilets to stand 18", so that will help some. Still, the getting up / sitting down / all of that is a huge unknown, and may have to be until I have to do it.
Is that enough to lean back / stretch legs out, do #1 or #2, then get back up “comfortably” without bending to 90 degrees? I’m just trying to picture this, and I’m having a difficult time seeing where it’s easy.
I’ve heard from the surgeon’s office: we arrive at 8:30am, so surgery should kick off in the 10-11am period. 60-90 minutes, depending on how much has to be done (booked for 2 hours, typical is 1.5, if it’s routine could just 1).
Also heard back on how to do bathroom. Short: we don’t want you to bend beyond 90 degrees, we know that’s not going to happen because of life, if you have to you have to but limit it as much as you can. Don’t worry, I’ll probably have a horror story for anyone who wants it.
Planning to be off work for 2 weeks. Paid via short-term disability, if I remember to print off paperwork and take it in. Hoping Mrs. Hoffman really loves me enough to put up with me the next several weeks; she’s got 25 years in at this point, so it’s either “she really does love me” or “she’s holding out for life insurance and the kids will get one really good Christmas.”
