You can send them to me…
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As mentioned above: hookers, drug dealers and “immigrant” workers take them, I’m sure.
RN
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If I’m eating a single piece of bread I put whatever spread on the side that has more surface area based on the slope of the top crust. If I’m eating a sandwich then I keep the two slices of bread in the same orientation as they were in the package. I don’t like having to make a sandwich with the last slice of an old loaf and the first slice of the new loaf because the edges aren’t aligned.
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STOP GIVING ME NEW QUIRKS!
Now this seems like an important consideration when making a sandwich.
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I do the same things, man. Seriously.
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I would just grab 2 slices of the new loaf and use the old one as snack toast, with some cheese on top… 
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I do that too for sandwiches. It’s annoying if the shapes don’t quite match up and then a bunch of stuff is coming out at the edges
I was thinking I had posted in this thread, but realized there’s another with some overlap:
That one seems to be for unintentional errors.
Agreed. I thought that was just automatic (and glad to know it’s not just me).
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Sometimes it’s nice to know that I am not the only psychotic person with OCD around here. 
If we have odd slices of bread I usually just break it into pieces and throw it outside for the squirrels…
The skwirlz in my 'hood have torn my window screens, so they can go fluff themselves!!! 
I hope your skwrilz are better behaved.
@Echo: Skwirl!!!
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They would not be getting bread if we had that kind of relationship. Although I suppose it might be a bit chicken and the egg. Did you ever try giving them bread?
See my post above.
******in’ skwirlz!!! 
It was the question of why I flipped the bread over that prompted me to post.
When I pull the bread out of the bag I just take two slices and then open them like a book so they will fit back together.
For a grilled cheese I put them face down after opening so I butter the correct side.
When I come out of the shower and I walk to my BR without a towel I announce “naked dad”. I had daughters and thought it was appropriate back then (even though I wrapped myself in a towel from Bath to BR). I live alone now BTW.
My husband and I use random wrong words and phrases from when our kids and foster kids were young.
For example, our foster son before this one called my husband a very wrong variation of his name. So if his name was “Charlie” he called him “Carter.” So I now call him “Carter.”
Our youngest son used to say “what you said?” Instead of “what did you say?” When he was a toddler, so we use that phrase a lot now instead, too.
There are a lot more, but this is making me a little bittersweetly nostalgic, and I have to go into a meeting in 15 minutes.