Naw, I’ve been to a lot of funerals that effectively had an “open mike”, and various people said stuff. Yes, sometimes the family knows in advance whose going to say what. But not always.
I remember reading that cremation only got the official papal OK recently, like in the last few years.
What i found fascinating is that the pope (or his office) specifically warned against anything like ancestor worship. Or maybe the pope said keeping the ashes was OK as long as it was not ancestor worship.
Anyway, the RCs are still concerned about ancestor worship. Can’t let those old pagan habits come creeping back- it’s only been a couple thousand years!
I’ll clarify here: I’m just speaking from the viewpoint of what I’ve seen happen at Catholic funerals. I can’t ever remember it having been an open mic kind of thing during the service. My recollection is that it’s fairly regimented, it’s practically a normal mass and they insert items for the funeral-specific stuff.
Disclaimer: I’m by no means an expert on this kind of stuff, but I’ve deferred to the resident cradle Catholic in the house and Mrs. Hoffman says I’m fairly on the mark. She also points out that behavior before/during/after the funeral is definitely church-specific: some of them it’s a community affair and there’s lots of conversations and reminiscing, and several people will talk about the deceased during the funeral servivce. Others, it’s very matter-of-fact to the point of almost being cold and indifferent, and everyone’s pretty stoic and anything said about the deceased is done by the priest and it’s practically a script.
Oh, i misunderstood. I think this is my first Catholic funeral. I’ve been to lots of other funerals where i learned unexpected things about the deceased. Most of those had too many speakers for them all to have been vetted by anyone.
I grew up Catholic as did the majority of my extended family. The only time I’ve ever seen a friend or family member speak about the deceased during either the wake or the funeral has been on tv.
I feel like I’ve gone to a lot of funerals over the last several years, all but one of them Catholic. There is a lot of variation by parish. For one of the funerals, the priest didn’t allow any eulogy except for the brief one he gave. For most of the other ones a family member gave a nice eulogy with many stories . For one, the attendees were asked by the priest to come up and tell stories if they wanted.
At least three of those funerals had the cremated remains present and those remains were interred at the cemetery just like a body in a casket. Maybe that diocese is just loose and easy going.
I also attended one Jewish funeral. It felt surprisingly familiar for whatever reason. It was nice to be able to tell a story of my friend, and a story I hadn’t thought of in many years at that. I also almost started to laugh when I threw a shovel full of dirt in the grave because my friend and I did a lot of home projects together over the years, including digging many holes. So of course I had to work at their funeral. I also really liked the ceremony for the headstone later. it was very nice to celebrate their life without the grief being so immediate. And all the food reminded me very much of a Catholic funeral.
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There still are pagan things all over the place. I mean, there are still things like Shinto and similar religions.
But back to the distinction between the funeral Mass and the wake – the wake can be open mic (my grandpa’s was like that, and the stories were lit.) The priest does not necessarily visit that one.
The Mass itself would be indoors at the church, and commentary on the life is generally limited, and definitely keep it dignified. Then often there can be a graveside service afterward, and there may or may not be additional remarks, and usually not open mic, and not a Mass, but the priest is often there to do additional blessings.
The only one with some pretty specific restrictions would be the Mass, but people don’t necessarily follow restrictions.
I like that, too. We’ve mostly done family-only unveilings, but I’ve been to a couple of others, and I find it a nice ceremony. And yes, a nice time to share stories. I guess we’ll do the equivalent when we scatter my mom’s ashes this summer.
catholic funeral masses I have been to move the remembrances to after communion. and they are scheduled, not open mike time. one or two (max) have some comments. moving them until the very end, before the recession, keeps the off-color remarks outside the formal mass.
wakes are like a party, with one less talker.
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Like a “Weekend at Bernie’s”??