Out of the mouths of babes

The Sandbox General
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I couldn’t find if this thread has ben started here; it was a good source of amusement on the old AO.

Background: I am replacing/enlarging our deck, and the new building code requires substantial footers, minimum of 2 feet deep and some holes are almost 3x3 to accommodate forms. Subsurface is chert, and topsoil is as thin as 3". It is taking me a while to dig. College age child says “You know, if drug dealers were to take you out into the desert and have you dig your own grave before killing you, I think you’d be OK for a while.”

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:rofl:

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my 4yo declares that she will only eat “helpy” food. So I ask her if she wants some fish. It’s “helpy” I say. She responds “No! I want only helpy food like chocolate!”

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5yo guest says the blessing at lunch:
“God is great, God is good, let us thank Him for our food. You may now eat quietly. Amen”

Learned that at school, huh? :laughing:

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My kids’ school one is

“Thank you god for happy hearts, for rain and sunny weather. Thank you for the food we eat and that we’re all together.”

Although I think I like yours better

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Good drink, good meat. Good God, let’s eat!

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Grandma asks “Are you familiar with The Man of La Mancha?..”
Child “The donkey horror story?!?!”

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Out of context quote from my son: “You offered him beer, and then he betrayed you?!”

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“At long last, we can acknowledge the elephant in the room, so we can finally set him free. Watch out for an elephant on the loose! It’s a stampede!”

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“I might be turning into a teenager a bit earlier than usual. You’re annoying me all the time these days, mom.”

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From a story I found that my son wrote last school year.

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He was 1, not 2, and his brother was 4, not 31. But he is right, he did like his dad a whole lot more than his mom.

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I love the introductory sentence.

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My 8yo son told me tonight that his biggest dream is that we can solve world hunger.

“Me, too, buddy! That would be incre-”

“Yeah! Yeah! Because then animals would stop having to eat other animals, and I mean, I just want all of nature to survive…”

It’s sweet, and noble even if misplaced.

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“You know mom, it’s really hard being one of the smartest kids in my class. And, I’m also one of the tallest kids in my class, so my life is really hard.”

Wait until he finds out how handsome he is! A triple whammy!

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Death by a 1,000 cutes.

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Also, he is gifted, but we’ve never told him he is smarter than anyone else or that his giftedness is anything but luck. Not sure where he’s pulling that one from, lol.

And he’s in the top 5% for his height for his age, but he is almost a year younger than everyone else in his class, so he’s of average height compared to his classmates. He just went for an annual check up where he was told he was in the 95th percentile for height, and I guess he really latched onto that.

Kids are funny.

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Understanding a 95th percentile would have him smarter than a lot of people…

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I had explained it to him a while back, when he got his Naglieri Nonverbal results - we had a whole conversation about what it meant, what it DIDN’T mean, and who he should share that information with at school (no one). I guess the “I’m smarter than X% of other kids” is what he took away from that, lol. What a turd.

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He’s got the humblebrag down pretty good.

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“Dad you know how some people have super powers? Like not being able to get out of bed in the morning or sleeping too long. Well I think figured out mine already. It’s getting chocolate on my face. Like when I drink chocolate milk with a straw and still get chocolate on my face or anytime I eat chocolate and it’s all over my face.“

The fact my son sees my most visible shortcomings as super powers makes me quite happy.

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