This is why I don’t do weddings
I laughed so hard at this because this exact same thing happened to my brother.
Obligation invites…just adds to the cost but you (as the people getting married) have negative value add.
Being inconsiderate was the point. They weren’t getting a meal - they were making a statement.
Good news! Well, for me anyways.
When I cook halal for students, sometimes the recipes call for chicken stock. Which out of the box isn’t hala so I end up using vegetable stock. Bleh.
What I’m going to do, maybe this weekend, is get a bunch of halal chicken, cook it up, and make some chicken broth from the bones. Yippee! Chicken stock next time I go camping!
I’m already planning on making some Asian noodles and soup with it.
I believe we had this discussion before, I would think kosher stock would be acceptable
not rude to serve what you want to serve at your wedding/party. people can mostly eat vegan food (some might have fodmap stuff or other constraints).
brother brings in pizza? kind of rude.
worth getting mad? nope.
way back, best friend got married and brides family had beer/wine only bar. were there a couple of folks who struggled to manage through that? sure. but that’s the tiny minority and clearly their “problem.”
And suppose you got a large, starving wedding?? ![]()
I am pretty much live and let live with weddings but…
I would not go to a wedding if they made me pay for entry.
I have seen this in US & Canada, and I think its bonkers.
We already give a cash gift to the couple (this is standard) but making me pay to fund your wedding is really not on.
I’ve never experienced that. Reminds me of a college party. $$ to enter unless you bring girls.
Wait what?
Olive oil on a bagel is great. So is butter though.
Relevant,and very very redneck.
When i.was growing up, weddings would often have ‘open’ receptions. Theyd publish it right in the paper as such.
That meant that about 9pm you could show up, throw 20 bucks in the basket, and sit and drink at the (paid) bar. I think it was a way to raise money for the couple. Ive been to quite a few weddings with my buddies and gotten very hammered, where none of us knew the couple.
What a weird memory you evoked lol. Ive no idea if they still do that back home.
This is why I eat before every wedding I don’t know what they are serving. It’s not the couples fault that I am picky. They can serve what they want and I will work around that. Never bring the food in though.
When my sil was married, i assumed the food at the wedding would be vegan. Because, you know, she’s vegan. I would have thought most wedding guests would know the could well enough to know they are vegan, and would expect the food to be vegan.
It’s pretty easy to bake vegan bread and cook vegan rice that are just like the rice and bread that omnivores eat. I would expect vegans to offer some foods that would be familiar to all their guests, so no one was really hungry due to being shy about unusual food.
Speaking as a picky eater, sometimes i just eat around the items i don’t like. Sometimes that means i mostly eat the rice or the bread. The rest of you can manage that with vegan food, or Indian food, or Chinese food, or whatever. No one is going to starve because they didn’t care for a single meal.
Should you warn the guests the food will be vegan? That seems like overkill. You never know what you’ll get at someone else’s party, unless you specifically talked with them about it.
When i host a party, i ask everyone what they can’t eat, (allergies, need to keep kosher, vegan, whatever) and i try very hard to have food that meets everyone’s needs. I admit that at the last big formal event i hosted, the vegan offering was a not-as-good version of the vegetarian offering. But it was a real meal. My vegan SIL often packs her own food because she doesn’t trust hosts to accommodate her, but she’s never had to pull it out at a meal I’ve hosted.
What if they were of a culture where food can be very spicy and everything on the menu was an 8+ on a 10 point scale of spicyness. Should they inform people that all the dishes are going to be very spicy?
Personally, I’d probably be disappointed not at least having been prepared for a vegan experience. If I wanted animal proteins I might prepare to go out before or after, but I wouldn’t bring it with me or go out and get something and bring it to the dinner. Now if the vegan menu turned out to be unpalatable I might consider going out, but I probably wouldn’t bring it back with me. I would let everyone do as they wish. I would consider someone bringing food in unless for very specific dietary needs to be inconsiderate.
So much of this discussion seems to class vegan food as this weird alien substance. Really, it’s just veggies, rice, grains, pasta, etc. without milk products and eggs included. I suspect most people eat a few vegan food items a week without noticing.
I asked that question earlier. How adventurous can you get with the food before you forewarn people? Is it alright to just ask chicken or beef and serve Ethiopian food without mentioning the Ethiopian ahead of time? Similarly with Thai or Szechuan food (e.g. potentially very spicy)? Is it unfair to the people expecting a dry chicken breast or roast beef?
Olive oil + balsamic vinegar with focaccia bread is amazing! My European friends got me eating bread with olive oil.
People don’t like the idea of a cultural dietary restriction being forced on them. The food itself is irrelevant.