I don't get mean people - explain me please

What are mean people trying to achieve by the way? I’m just trying to understand because I try to ask myself, “what’s in it for them?” when the answer to me is “almost nothing.” Some results of being mean:

  • everyone hates you
  • pretty much nobody is going to want to be your teammate
  • employees are just going to do the bare minimum until they have the means to leave you
  • nobody will want to be your friend
  • nobody gonna wanna date you
  • you put yourself in physical danger if you piss off the wrong person
  • people will just exclude you from everything, events, business deals, whatever

So it seems like being purposefully mean will just lead to a miserable life. But if that were the case maybe there would be fewer mean people.

this thread is shit.

do better, flop

that’s not the case for people who are selectively mean.

for the case of those who are mean to everyone, they tend to play victim status and get votes like donald trump.

Is there any reasonable interpretation of those words as written besides “I don’t get mean people - explain one particular example of a mean person (me) please”

I get it because sometimes I’m in moods where I’d like to do this. Thankfully I restrain myself these days.

Being mean gives you a feeling of power and acknowledgement that you exist. Those are the people who are purposely mean. They usually pick the people who are least likely to fight back.

Then quite often are the people who are just being stupid. Also which unfortunately occasionally describes me.

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Serious reply:

The first part of that sentence is absolutely not true.
A lot of mean people are extremely popular. In fact, you could almost say they’re popular because they’re mean. A lot of mean people are also perfectly happy. Perhaps way happier than nice people.

Lots of nice people are miserably and suicidal btw.

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Mostly this. They just haven’t met the right person that will kick their ass and tell them to stop being mean.
It was supposed to be their parents, but apparently that’s not allowed anymore. Not only that, but the parents defended their behavior as youngsters.

So, short answer: parents.

:roll_eyes: yes, child abuse definitely solves bullying rather than promotes it…

There’s also the people who are lazy mean. Example: pointing out a mistake in a meeting in front of 20 people because it needs to be pointed out some time and they couldn’t be bothered to email in advance. And don’t have the imagination to think it matters to that person.

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Then there are the people who are uncomfortable mean. They aren’t comfortable with the other person, perhaps afraid or aggravated or insecure, and they just say what comes naturally; unconscious aggression.

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Then there are the people who think acting mean is normal. They’ve been around other people who act that way too long.

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i don’t think that’s lazy mean. i doubt i’d be confident enough that i’m right to do that at work.

that’s also a really stupid form of mean that can come back to bite a person.

you forgot people who are mean when someone is perpetually annoying. that’s deserved meanness.

i’m thinking someone like ted cruz. Maybe not mean but thoroughly despised and hated. Can he really be happy with himself?

Who? Tell us more…

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Sometimes I behave in a mean way when I am frustrated. Obviously not the most constructive way to deal with it, but it happens. If you are just seeing a snapshot of a person rather than interacting with them regularly you may think someone who is only episodically mean is chronically mean. Not sure if there is a lot of difference in why between the two kinds.

I’m a bitch and I’m extremely popular and happy.

Sometimes people are mean because they are too tired or hurried to be anything but blunt.

Sometimes people are mean because life is hard and has made them sad or angry, and they just can’t contain it. Surprisingly, this same thing can also make a person kind.

Sometimes people are mean because the world is a scary place and they feel like to protect themselves they have to be more important than everybody else.

Sometimes people desperately don’t want to be mean, but don’t have the social skills to pull it off.

Sometimes people are mean because they are simply broken.

ted cruz is a bitch and extremely popular and happy. Hmm…

Going to Cancun during ice-storm induced blackouts do a lot to boost one’s morale.

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