How to not screw up the Seder

So my half-Jewish neighbors (she’s Jewish, he’s Methodist) invited us to the Seder tomorrow, and I’m super excited to be a part of this. They’re serving salmon and suggested that I bring a bottle of red wine, does not need to be kosher.

Any tips on not looking like a fool?

My United Methodist Youth Fellowship used to do a Seder, but I’m guessing it will be a little different with, you know, actual Jewish people present.

I’m guessing they won’t be very strict based on your comments so I’m sure you’ll be fine. Just go with the flow and enjoy a good meal. Oh and pace yourself, there’s 4 full glasses of wine! :relaxed:

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Yeah, I get the definite sense that this isn’t super duper strict, what with not requiring kosher wine. Their comment was “it needs to appear kosher from 30,000 feet”.

So no bacon or cheeseburgers, but stuff doesn’t actually have to be Manischewitz brand or anything.

oh that’s tomorrow. i miss my sister’s seders that she hasn’t done since covid. :frowning: this year would have been great being on a saturday.

she would get kosher food catered from zabars, but the wine didn’t need to be kosher. most of her guest list were non-jews. we would try and have a token jew who knows hebrew since my sister and i do not.

Don’t bring bagels to eat during.

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The wine might be just for you, so you don’t have to drink the Manischewitz.

unlikely. jews are lenient on wine. nobody wants to drink that manischewitz crap.

but you do have to drink a lot of wine, thus them asking you to bring wine.

is that where god is

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I have never attended a Seder. I would if invited. My Jewish friends aren’t religious.


my sister isn’t religious at all, but she has a seder. it’s an excuse to get together with friends, drink a ton of wine in the name of god and eat. her alcoholic non-jewish friend said it’s his favorite holiday now.

She hasn’t sent me an invite yet

she’s not having a seder this year because covid. :frowning:

Possibly, but I got the definite sense that this

was closer to the reason. I don’t expect that the Jewish wife will be drinking Manischewitz either, but I’ll report back tomorrow or Sunday.

I guess so?!?!

I don’t think the wife is super religious, but she definitely had menorahs out at Hanukkah. I think she’s mostly a secular Jew who enjoys the traditional Jewish holidays.

Covid sucks!

I’m basically in the neighbors bubble at this point, and they don’t have any family in town, hence the invite. She’s fully vaccinated as a teacher and I’ll be 3 days post dose 1. The husband is not vaccinated yet as it’s not his turn yet.

But yeah, two Easters in a row of dealing with Covid. And of course two Passovers for Jewish folk. Yuck. Hopefully by Memorial Day things will be looking better.

yeah, counting on it turning around in time for my birthday memorial day weekend.

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Unless you bring bread or beer, it’s hard to screw up being a guest at a seder.

They’ll probably have a book with the service in it, called a haggadah. It may be mostly Hebrew, or will English, or both. No one will expect you to know Hebrew.

They’ll probably read from the book, and they might ask you to read part of it. There’s a service, then a meal, then more service. There’s usually a lot of singing. There’s typically 4 cups of wine. There’s typically a multi-course meal. You might get to hunt for a hidden piece of matzo.

The traditional service is very long, but my brother and i are doing a zoom seder and I’m guessing we’ll get through the first part in 10 minutes, and the second part in 2 minutes. My husband grew up with just the meal, and was surprised the first time he went to an actual seder.

Some stuff that might happen:
You might dip parsley or a slice of potato in salt water.
You might dip your finger in wine ten times, for the ten plagues.
You might be asked to eat a bit of horseradish on matzo.
With or without a sweet apple/walnut paste.
You might be offered gefilte fish. It looks gross. I never eat it, but it’s just a seasoned ground fish in fish broth.
You might be offered a hard boiled egg.
You will probably eat a nice meal.
You will probably be offered lots of wine.

Go with the flow. The point of passover is to teach the story to our children. You may be the strand-in for children and have stuff explained to you.

Have fun

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What do I wear? Church clothes? Come as you are? Business casual?

I’m wearing Capri pants and a sort of fancy t-shirt at the moment, but… it’s a t-shirt.

What would you normally wear to go to a persons house for a dinner party? I’d go with that.

I dont think a seder is much different in that regard.