Hear Ye, Dear Me

ok, wanted to start a thread for weird, absurd or just funny conversations you have had or even overheard

  1. He: What time is it?
    Me: A quarter to 3:00
    He: 25 to three thanks

  2. (Oysters listed as Market Price)
    Me: What are the Oysters today
    She: I believe they are Blue Point, but I can check
    Me: NO, I meant how much
    She: oh, they come in a half dozen or dozen
    Me: and what is a dozen?
    She: 12

  3. Did this on purpose. I tend to use Yiddish. My daughter asked me something, I didn’t quite hear her said Vos (What)

Daughter: What is Vos?
Me: Yes
Daughter: Vos means Yes?
Me: No
Daughter: Then what is Vos?

this actually went on for a while

  1. Little girl in a bathroom stall. Daddy standing outside

Little Girl: Daddy, someone peed on the toilet seat
Daddy: No, honey I checked, it is clean
Little Girl: Daddy someone peed on the toilet seat
Daddy: No, they didn’t. Please just go
Little Girl: I did, and I peed on the toilet seat

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I’ll break your arm, you say third base!

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