Stepmoms get a bad rap. Most people are totally okay with it. Why?
Common misconceptions about stepmoms:
(1) They broke-up the marriage between the biological mom and dad and/or are the primary reason they are never getting back together in the future.
(2) They totally want to steal your children.
(3) They expect to be treated exactly the same as if they were the children’s real mom.
(4) They have no idea that they are not the children’s biological parent (and should be told as such).
(5) With or without part (1), they are definitely a whore.
(6) Not a real mom / has no idea what is best for the children.
(1) Probably didn’t even know their partner had kids for some amount of time. Had to seriously consider the impact of being with someone with kids from a previous marriage. Knew going in that it would be a clustf@#$ despite doing everything in their power to avoid it.
(2) Likely also have a uterus and could have had/could still have children of their own. Wish people would realize that not introducing other children to the picture makes it easier for the existing children to cope with all the changes.
(3) We actually expect to be treated like dirt by everybody, but it’s a nice surprise when that doesn’t actually happen.
(4) We are fully aware that we did not birth someone else’s children. Unfortunately, just because we did not birth the children, does not mean that we can totally absolve ourselves of the children’s care when they are under our care. Sometimes we do have to feed the kids.
(5) Not a misconception, definitely all whores.
(6) Just as the bioparents were not trained specifically in raising their own children, neither were the stepparents. Everybody is just trying their best to do the best they can. Sometimes beautiful relationships will form between a stepparent and their stepchildren, and sometimes they won’t. Stepparents aren’t obligated to love these kids, they make the choice to.
Common misconceptions about stepdads:
(1) Selfless heroes.