# Alyssa's FAQ **URL:** \ **Category:** Transgender Discussion Group\ **Created:** [October 29, 2021, 9:18pm UTC](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408 "2021-10-29T21:18:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![SpaceLobster](https://community.goactuary.com/user_avatar/community.goactuary.com/spacelobster/32/38216_2.png) [@SpaceLobster](https://community.goactuary.com/u/SpaceLobster)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 1:48pm UTC](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408/41 "2021-11-06T13:48:27Z")
Liking that post isn’t sufficient. That’s the most heart warming thing ever. ---
**Author:** ![LususNaturae](https://community.goactuary.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/l/fbc32d/32.png) [@LususNaturae](https://community.goactuary.com/u/LususNaturae)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 9:22pm UTC](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408/42 "2021-11-06T21:22:43Z")
Wow, that’s amazing! My mother’s pick for my name if I had been AFAB was… Taryn Nicole. I can’t say I’m a fan, ha. ---
**Author:** ![LususNaturae](https://community.goactuary.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/l/fbc32d/32.png) [@LususNaturae](https://community.goactuary.com/u/LususNaturae)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 9:26pm UTC](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408/43 "2021-11-06T21:26:12Z")
There’s also a lot of shades of grey in the nonbinary identities. There can be merely ‘not male or female’, more ‘genderqueer’ identities with ‘sometimes more male or more female’, etc. There’s a very large spectrum of gender identity out there, and I think a rejection of ‘everything must be binary’ is a neat mind space to be in. ---
**Author:** ![Mountainhawk](https://community.goactuary.com/user_avatar/community.goactuary.com/mountainhawk/32/82290_2.png) [@Mountainhawk](https://community.goactuary.com/u/Mountainhawk)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2021, 3:28am UTC](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408/44 "2021-11-08T03:28:47Z")
So tonight was the welcome reception at the CAS Annual Meeting. I thought I was going to be sick before going down, being the first time doing something like this since transitioning. But it ended up being a lot of fun, I even introduced myself to new people! ---
**Author:** ![ao\_fan](https://community.goactuary.com/user_avatar/community.goactuary.com/ao_fan/32/143_2.png) [@ao\_fan](https://community.goactuary.com/u/ao_fan)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2021, 4:02am UTC](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408/45 "2021-11-08T04:02:04Z")
I didn’t realize the annual meetings are back to in person. Isn’t it covidy? ---
**Author:** ![Mountainhawk](https://community.goactuary.com/user_avatar/community.goactuary.com/mountainhawk/32/82290_2.png) [@Mountainhawk](https://community.goactuary.com/u/Mountainhawk)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2021, 4:39am UTC](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408/46 "2021-11-08T04:39:12Z")
Reception was outside, so is the dinner. Feels safe so far. ---
**Author:** ![ao\_fan](https://community.goactuary.com/user_avatar/community.goactuary.com/ao_fan/32/143_2.png) [@ao\_fan](https://community.goactuary.com/u/ao_fan)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2021, 5:07am UTC](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408/47 "2021-11-08T05:07:21Z")
ah, yeah, i’d feel safe outside. ---
**Author:** ![Mountainhawk](https://community.goactuary.com/user_avatar/community.goactuary.com/mountainhawk/32/82290_2.png) [@Mountainhawk](https://community.goactuary.com/u/Mountainhawk)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2021, 4:17pm UTC](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408/48 "2021-11-08T16:17:09Z")
All meals are outside in fact. The general sessions aren’t but there are tables so it’s not too cramped. Almost no masks though, giving it a B- here. ---
**Author:** ![SpaceLobster](https://community.goactuary.com/user_avatar/community.goactuary.com/spacelobster/32/38216_2.png) [@SpaceLobster](https://community.goactuary.com/u/SpaceLobster)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2021, 4:19pm UTC](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408/49 "2021-11-08T16:19:22Z")
How’s the voice coming along? ---
**Author:** ![ao\_fan](https://community.goactuary.com/user_avatar/community.goactuary.com/ao_fan/32/143_2.png) [@ao\_fan](https://community.goactuary.com/u/ao_fan)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2021, 4:20pm UTC](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408/50 "2021-11-08T16:20:26Z")
general sessions being indoors seems covidy, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Mountainhawk](https://community.goactuary.com/user_avatar/community.goactuary.com/mountainhawk/32/82290_2.png) [@Mountainhawk](https://community.goactuary.com/u/Mountainhawk)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2021, 4:21pm UTC](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408/51 "2021-11-08T16:21:14Z")
Not ideal, but I’m masking up if there is anyone near by. ---
**Author:** ![Mountainhawk](https://community.goactuary.com/user_avatar/community.goactuary.com/mountainhawk/32/82290_2.png) [@Mountainhawk](https://community.goactuary.com/u/Mountainhawk)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2021, 4:24pm UTC](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408/52 "2021-11-08T16:24:45Z")
Pretty good! It still slips now and then and I’m struggling hard on the resonance exercises. Trying to change the way you use your airflow is really tough, but at least I don’t get incredulous comments when I say I’m Alyssa on the phone anymore. I have 2 more in this package — I may pick up another 5 lessons, but it is expensive ( nearly $1000/ 5 lessons if payed up front). ---
**Author:** ![Mountainhawk](https://community.goactuary.com/user_avatar/community.goactuary.com/mountainhawk/32/82290_2.png) [@Mountainhawk](https://community.goactuary.com/u/Mountainhawk)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2021, 1:46am UTC](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408/53 "2021-11-09T01:46:37Z")
> [@Mountainhawk](#): > > So tonight was the welcome reception at the CAS Annual Meeting. I thought I was going to be sick before going down, being the first time doing something like this since transitioning. But it ended up being a lot of fun, I even introduced myself to new people! Today ended up being really, really hard. I thought I was ready for it, but I’m not sure I am. Just so many people here, and many of the people I know didn’t make it this time. Trying to work up some energy to go for a walk for a bit before dinner. ---
**Author:** ![John.S.Mill](https://community.goactuary.com/user_avatar/community.goactuary.com/john.s.mill/32/9771_2.png) [@John.S.Mill](https://community.goactuary.com/u/John.S.Mill)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2021, 1:57am UTC](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408/54 "2021-11-09T01:57:07Z")
> [@Mountainhawk](#): > > Today ended up being really, really hard. I thought I was ready for it, but I’m not sure I am. Just so many people here, and many of the people I know didn’t make it this time. Trying to work up some energy to go for a walk for a bit before dinner. Hey, I can’t imagine the courage you mustered up for this. If it’s any consolation, I STILL have not come out to anyone at work or CAS committees after a decade of being in the industry. I get extremely uncomfortable when people start talking about weekends and their wives and husbands and kids. I basically just change the subject. So I can only surmise you’re 1000x braver than I am. ---
**Author:** ![SpaceLobster](https://community.goactuary.com/user_avatar/community.goactuary.com/spacelobster/32/38216_2.png) [@SpaceLobster](https://community.goactuary.com/u/SpaceLobster)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2021, 12:11pm UTC](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408/55 "2021-11-09T12:11:37Z")
It’s a common interest for many people. I don’t think that’s going to change. If you want to participate in the conversation, talk about your SO, normalize it. Let the others be uncomfortable if they are that way. Pulled from the file of easier said than done. SO and I were at an antique mall last weekend. Turns out that a gay friend and their SO were there this weekend as well. Their family is doing the same stuff we are. ---
**Author:** ![Mountainhawk](https://community.goactuary.com/user_avatar/community.goactuary.com/mountainhawk/32/82290_2.png) [@Mountainhawk](https://community.goactuary.com/u/Mountainhawk)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2021, 2:11pm UTC](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408/56 "2021-11-09T14:11:41Z")
I’ve personally gotten quite good at just talking about my wife, but the first time I say it with someone it does have a mental cost of bracing for the reaction that almost never comes. Definitely easier said that done. ---
**Author:** ![Mountainhawk](https://community.goactuary.com/user_avatar/community.goactuary.com/mountainhawk/32/82290_2.png) [@Mountainhawk](https://community.goactuary.com/u/Mountainhawk)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2021, 11:58pm UTC](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408/57 "2021-11-09T23:58:13Z")
I made a post on linked in about my struggles yesterday, and let me tell you something. The response I’ve gotten to it on both linked in and in person here proves that the insurance industry has just so many amazing people in it. ---
**Author:** ![Mountainhawk](https://community.goactuary.com/user_avatar/community.goactuary.com/mountainhawk/32/82290_2.png) [@Mountainhawk](https://community.goactuary.com/u/Mountainhawk)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2021, 2:04pm UTC](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408/58 "2021-11-12T14:04:25Z")
> [@Mountainhawk](#): > > **Are you taking hormones?** > > Yep. My current dosages are 6 mg of Estradiol per day (3 x 2mg) and 200 mg of Spironolactone. (2 x100 mg). The Estradiol is the feminizing hormone, and the Spiro is a testosterone blocker that has a ton of side effects that I hate (dizziness when standing up, peeing all the time, and digestive issues being the biggest). Due to this, I do quarterly bloodwork to make sure (a) I’m not damaging any vital organs and (b) that the doses are working as intended. Results are back for the 15 months test, and everything looks pretty good, though I might be a little dehydrated (probably from the conference/plane ride). But the T level is down to 10 nanograms/deciliter, which is actually below the normal female range of 15-70 ng/dL. Estrogen keeps going up and is at 175 picograms/milliliter, which is right in the normal female range of 15-350 pg/mL (obviously, cis female’s range varies significantly over the monthly cycle, but that’s not standard practice to simulate for a trans woman since it’s not necessary.) ---
**Author:** ![Rastiln](https://community.goactuary.com/user_avatar/community.goactuary.com/rastiln/32/77682_2.png) [@Rastiln](https://community.goactuary.com/u/Rastiln)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2021, 5:33pm UTC](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408/59 "2021-11-17T17:33:35Z")
> [@SpaceLobster](#): > > If you want to participate in the conversation, talk about your SO, normalize it. For a few years now I’ve been just saying “my partner”, even for people who know my partner’s gender, even with them present. Let them judge if they don’t know and want to judge. ---
**Author:** ![John.S.Mill](https://community.goactuary.com/user_avatar/community.goactuary.com/john.s.mill/32/9771_2.png) [@John.S.Mill](https://community.goactuary.com/u/John.S.Mill)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2021, 6:14pm UTC](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408/60 "2021-11-17T18:14:07Z")
> [@Rastiln](#): > > For a few years now I’ve been just saying “my partner”, even for people who know my partner’s gender, even with them present. Let them judge if they don’t know and want to judge. I’ve actually heard this too, straight people referring to their SO as “partner”. When I first heard it I thought they were gay, but I think more and more people talk like this. It does make it easier for someone like me to engage. [Previous page](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408.md?page=2) [Next page](https://community.goactuary.com/t/alyssas-faq/4408.md?page=4)