I would love to have my parents living as neighbors. I wouldn’t mind them living with me - assuming they had independent space - although they would never do that. Two homes on the same property or next door would be ideal - but to do that I’d have to buy the house next to theirs (cuz they won’t move) and I don’t want to live in my old home town.
Anyone here live in close proximity or under the same roof as parents?
I briefly lived at my parents house with my wife after moving out of my apartment before moving into my house. Let’s just say my relationship with my mom is a lot better not living together. No way I’d ever live with my parents again.
as much as my parents (asian) would love it, it’s a no for me.
I don’t even live in the same country as they do.
My grandma used to live with us growing up.
my best friend’s mom lived with her basically her whole life. She just got married and will still live with her mom until she can buy her mom a house so the mom can move out, will probably happen soon because she’s loaded with tech money.
A family I’m friends with has his parents living with them. He’s from Laos and the oldest son. His siblings live in the same vicinity. They have a nice big house and the older parents have a bed/bath suite on the main floor and my friends and their kids have the upstairs bedrooms.
Lots of big houses around here have 2 “primary suites”. If I could ever convince my parents to move in with me, I’d have to buy a house like that. (But I’d have better luck convincing them to jump off a bridge. )
In my circle there are adult kids w/ grandkids, who had tough economic times, moving in with their parents. and a few whose parents are ill who moved their parents in with them.
My Sil, is the former, but really just a loser who can’t make it on her own.
As for a living arrangement. My wife’s grandmother lived across the street from her and we took over that house for a year after she dies. I do know some Chinese people who either live together or in adjoining apartments
My wife and I have talked about this, for reasons. And while the correct answer for folks probably depends on family dynamics/politics, with our families it is good to have some separation.
We are further away from our families than we want to be, and that distance has been an even bigger problems since we both had parents develop some serious health issues during the pandemic. However, even with that consideration, we are convinced that an ideal distance is “at least one metro area away” or “a couple of hours away” – not so close that it’s easy for family to do surprise inspections, but not so far away that it’s a problem/ordeal if you need to go visit on short notice or a regular basis.
I can see the advantages of multi-generational housing arrangements…but I like my space and privacy.
I like the idea, though I can see some need for privacy.
My mother struggles financially. She lived with us when I first got married. It was fine. Occasionally I got outvoted 2 to 1 to on things I’m pretty sure she shouldn’t have had a vote on, but nbd. She now lives with my sister and bil. It’s perfect, my sister and mother are friends, mom has company, and my bil says if my sister passed he’ll have to marry my mother.
I’d have my kids and their spouses live with me, and we’d be built in babysitter’s but the kids want their own places. So we stick with living close. If the kids move away I’d expect that we’d move to be closer to them.
I love my mom, but do not get along with her, my spouse gets along with her even less. My spouse’s parents have been gone for 30+ years so not relevant to the question.
My mom lives 30 minutes away occasionally, and 3.5 hours away most of the time. We have been looking for a second property in the same 3.5 hours away location, both because it’s a lovely forested area that would add some calm to my life during the busy times for work, and because my mom and stepdad are getting up there in age and I expect we’re going to need to be around more to help them going forward.
Cannot imagine living in the same home with them ever again. A couple minutes away driving, 15 walking is what we’re likely looking for.
It’s like this with my Dad’s family in Asia but for a while it was 4 generations in one building. They hated each other and the arrangement was mostly due to them being in poverty than anything else. If they had the means to separate, they would.